THE TAMING OF THE SHREW

Act 3 Scene 3

(Enter Lucentio as Cambio, and Tranio as Lucentio)
l1l	Tranio	 But, sir, to love concerneth us to add
l2l		Her father’s liking, which to bring to pass,
l3l		As I before imparted to your worship,
l4l		I am to get a man—whate’er he be
l5l		It skills not much, we’ll fit him to our turn—
l6l		And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa,
l7l		And make assurance here in Padua
l8l		Of greater sums than I have promisèd.
l9l		So shall you quietly enjoy your hope,
l10l		And marry sweet Bianca with consent.
l11l	Lucentio	Were it not that my fellow schoolmaster
l12l		Doth watch Bianca’s steps so narrowly,
l13l		’Twere good, methinks, to steal our marriage,
l14l		Which once performed, let all the world say no,
l15l		I’ll keep mine own, despite of all the world.
l16l	Tranio	That by degrees we mean to look into,
l17l		And watch our vantage in this business.
l18l		We’ll overreach the greybeard Gremio,
l19l		The narrow-prying father Minola,
l20l		The quaint musician, amorous Licio,
l21l		All for my master’s sake, Lucentio.
		(Enter Gremio)
l22l		Signor Gremio, came you from the church?
l23l	Gremio	As willingly as e’er I came from school.
l24l	Tranio	And is the bride and bridegroom coming home?
l25l	Gremio	A bridegroom, say you? ’Tis a groom indeed—
l26l		A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.
l27l	Tranio	Curster than she? Why, ’tis impossible.
l28l	Gremio	Why, he’s a devil, a devil, a very fiend.
l29l	Tranio	Why, she’s a devil, a devil, the devil’s dam.
l30l	Gremio	Tut, she’s a lamb, a dove, a fool to him.
l31l		I’ll tell you, Sir Lucentio: when the priest
l32l		Should ask if Katherine should be his wife,
l33l		“Ay, by Gog’s woun’s,” quoth he, and swore so loud
l34l		That all amazed the priest let fall the book,
l35l		And as he stooped again to take it up
l36l		This mad-brained bridegroom took him such a cuff
l37l		That down fell priest, and book, and book, and priest.
l38l		“Now take them up,” quoth he, “if any list.”
l39l	Tranio	What said the vicar when he rose again?
l40l	Gremio	Trembled and shook, forwhy he stamped and swore
l41l		As if the vicar meant to cozen him.
l42l		But after many ceremonies done
l43l		He calls for wine. “A health,” quoth he, as if
l44l		He had been aboard, carousing to his mates
l45l		After a storm# quaffed off the muscatel
l46l		And threw the sops all in the sexton’s face,
l47l		Having no other reason
l48l		But that his beard grew thin and hungerly
l49l		And seemed to ask him sops as he was drinking.
l50l		This done, he took the bride about the neck
l51l		And kissed her lips with such a clamorous smack
l52l		That at the parting all the church did echo,
l53l		And I seeing this came thence for very shame,
l54l		And after me, I know, the rout is coming.
l55l		Such a mad marriage never was before.
		(Music plays)
l56l		Hark, hark, I hear the minstrels play.
		(Enter Petruccio, Katherine, Bianca, Hortensio as Licio, Baptista, Grumio, and others, attendants)
l57l	Petruccio	 Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains.
l58l		I know you think to dine with me today,
l59l		And have prepared great store of wedding cheer.
l60l		But so it is my haste doth call me hence,
l61l		And therefore here I mean to take my leave.
l62l	Baptista	Is ’t possible you will away tonight?
l63l	Petruccio	I must away today, before night come.
l64l		Make it no wonder. If you knew my business,
l65l		You would entreat me rather go than stay.
l66l		And, honest company, I thank you all
l67l		That have beheld me give away myself
l68l		To this most patient, sweet, and virtuous wife.
l69l		Dine with my father, drink a health to me,
l70l		For I must hence# and farewell to you all.
l71l	Tranio	Let us entreat you stay till after dinner.
l72l	Petruccio	It may not be.
	Gremio	Let me entreat you.
l73l	Petruccio	It cannot be.
	Katherine	Let me entreat you.
l74l	Petruccio	I am content.
	Katherine	Are you content to stay?
l75l	Petruccio	I am content you shall entreat me stay,
l76l		But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.
l77l	Katherine	Now, if you love me, stay.
	Petruccio	Grumio, my horse.
l78l	Grumio	 Ay, sir, they be ready. The oats have eaten the
l79l		horses.
l80l	Katherine	 Nay, then, do what thou canst, I will not go today,
l81l		No, nor tomorrow—not till I please myself.
l82l		The door is open, sir, there lies your way.
l83l		You may be jogging whiles your boots are green.
l84l		For me, I’ll not be gone till I please myself.
l85l		’Tis like you’ll prove a jolly, surly groom,
l86l		That take it on you at the first so roundly.
l87l	Petruccio	O Kate, content thee. Prithee, be not angry.
l88l	Katherine	I will be angry. What hast thou to do?
l89l		Father, be quiet. He shall stay my leisure.
l90l	Gremio	Ay, marry, sir. Now it begins to work.
l91l	Katherine	Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner.
l92l		I see a woman may be made a fool
l93l		If she had not a spirit to resist.
l94l	Petruccio	They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.
l95l		Obey the bride, you that attend on her.
l96l		Go to the feast, revel and domineer,
l97l		Carouse full measure to her maidenhead.
l98l		Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves.
l99l		But for my bonny Kate, she must with me.
l100l		Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret.
l101l		I will be master of what is mine own.
l102l		She is my goods, my chattels. She is my house,
l103l		My household-stuff, my field, my barn,
l104l		My horse, my ox, my ass, my anything,
l105l		And here she stands, touch her whoever dare.
l106l		I’ll bring mine action on the proudest he
l107l		That stops my way in Padua. Grumio,
l108l		Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with thieves.
l109l		Rescue thy mistress if thou be a man.
l110l		Fear not, sweet wench. They shall not touch thee, Kate.
l111l		I’ll buckler thee against a million.
		(Exeunt Petruccio, Katherine, and Grumio)
l112l	Baptista	 Nay, let them go—a couple of quiet ones!
l113l	Gremio	Went they not quickly I should die with laughing.
l114l	Tranio	Of all mad matches never was the like.
l115l	Lucentio	Mistress, what’s your opinion of your sister?
l116l	Bianca	That being mad herself she’s madly mated.
l117l	Gremio	I warrant him, Petruccio is Kated.
l118l	Baptista	Neighbours and friends, though bride and bridegroom wants
l119l		For to supply the places at the table,
l120l		You know there wants no junkets at the feast.
l121l		Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom’s place,
l122l		And let Bianca take her sister’s room.
l123l	Tranio	Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it?
l124l	Baptista	She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let’s go.
		( 124 Exeunt)